Why you cant feel him with you is because you are a fallen man in this fallen world, and your feelings are very much changable with regard to your surroundings (family, friends, grades, demands of the world etc). But you know God is faithful to you because you said, 'You know He's with you.'
Just knowing that God is with you is actually more than enough. Because He is a dependable, all mighty (undefeatable), loving and caring God unlike any living undependable temporary persons (including you yourself or your closest friends or family members) whose emotions are subject to change and can be hardened. And 'He sticks closer than a brother'.
And no matter where you run from him or how much you think he is not with you, He STICKS to you closer than anything else. Even darkness CANNOT hide you from him. Just by your mustard seed faith in His gigantic faith in you, He WILL save you.
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, YOU ARE THERE; If I make my bed in hell, behold, YOU ARE THERE. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand SHALL lead me, And Your right hand SHALL hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall[a] on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness SHALL NOT hide (me) from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you. When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, it won’t be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That’s how much you mean to me! That’s how much I LOVE you! I’d SELL off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.
Isaiah 43 (MSG)
Again he said, “What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it?It is like a mustard seed, which is the SMALLEST of all seeds on earth.Yet when planted, it GROWS and becomes the LARGEST of all garden plants, with such BIG BRANCHES that the birds can perch in its shade.”
“This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground.Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he DOES NOT KNOW HOW.
ALL BY ITSELF the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because THE HARVEST HAS COME.”
When you continuously think about or meditate on the promises of God from the bible in your life instead of focusing on life's sorrows or demands (relationship breakup/ unreasonable demands/ stress etc), you are sowing the MUSTARD SEED kingdom of God in you.
One fine day, the tiny MUSTARD SEED faith you have that God is with you, will grow into a gigantic tree inside you, and you DO NOT KNOW HOW it grew in your life.
When the time is ripe, all that you NEED to do is to harvest the fruits of the spirit (love/ joy/ peace etc) and all his promises.
I applaud your decision to use a verse from a lesser-known book of the Bible. Before I started reading it for myself, I had only heard of the more famous books, like the four Gospels, or the first five books.
Some time ago, I wrote a fan fiction that was partially influenced by the Bible. Its title, "James Four Fourteen," was a hint at what the story was about if people looked up that verse, and each chapter started with a Bible verse that also pertained to the chapter's text in some way. For the final chapter, I came across a verse in Lamentations that was too perfect to pass up, and chose to use it because it was from a lesser-known book.
I did, as a matter of fact. You can see it here: [link]
However, the story might not make much sense because it is the third story in an ongoing series of four. Reading the first and second stories would deepen one's understanding of the character personas I've created.